The Colbert Report/Episode/510
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * Last night Obama called his Daschle nom a "mistake" ** Obama Administration is over * Some punk walked in Dr. Colbert's eye-line ** and he wants whoever it is gone ** it was some guy named Steve (which is a stupid name) *** he claims to have been on a fucking set (he names some minor works) * Dr. Colbert reminds him that walking in front of his camera while he was talking was fucking unprofessional About The Super Bowl * During the Super Bowl The Boss rammed his "mini boss" into the camera ** That Steve guy walks in front of the camera again *** Dr. Colbert was forced to yell at him and demand that he leave * personally Dr. Colbert is a fan Back To The Super Bowl * 7-layer dip going in ** at least 9 going out * Dr. Colbert had a lot of money * Gatorade dump is a baptism with electrolytes Yahweh Or No Way * who was God rooting for in the Super Bowl? ** Warner is a devout Christian *** when he's in the pocket, there is a second set of footprints * God did not decide the Super Bowl (he was for the Orioles, just like Stephen) * Who made the Steelers win? ** not saying Obama is more powerful than God * Fred M (?) ** built replica of White House ** Jesus' plan * Did Jesus build it? ** No Way * The house has not sold $9.8 million * Pope Benedict lifted ex-com Bishop Williamson (Holocaust denier) ** Pope disagrees with the Bishop * Did God tell the Pope to reinstate the Bishop? ** No Way ** ex-communication like marbles, no backsies ** the story makes Dr. Colbert nauseous, he might be barfing matzo balls SEGMENT3 * that guy walks through The Eagle's Nest again * Dr. Colbert doesn't do the show for money or fame or for critics ** he does it for the little people * Who's Not Honoring Me Now? * Association of Library Services To Children ** Neil Gaiman's "Graveyard" ** Dr. Colbert's children's book was "Fuck it (...?)" * Boucse(sp) d'Or ** America's top finisher was 6th place ** 8-Meat chili (used to be 7-meat chili, but he got 2 of them to mate) * Norwegian ** step one: kill reindeer ** Step two: add snow * Sweden won second place * Dr. Colbert is nominated for Grammy ** Best Spoken * Other nominees: ** Sidney Poitier, won't have a poit to piss in ** David Sedaris ** Steve Martin, no-talent fraud? ** Al Gore, last nominee for Inconvenient Truth *** If he wins he can appeal all the way to the Supreme Court * Dr. Colbert's pet political cause: END ATM SURCHARGES! Interview * Steve Martin * comedian, actor, novelist, musician, magician, playwright, screenwriter, juggler ** best known for his appearances in Dr. Colbert's opening segment ** new movie: Pink Panther 2 * plays a detective ** comedy * needs to change his page * he's serious and intellectual * he feels like an intellectual when he's with Dr. Colbert * lots of low comedy * Martin is a competitor of Dr. Colbert's ** Dr. Colbert will send Kareem Abdul Jabbar ** Martin was going to send Dr. Colbert, Jabbar will go for both * Daniel Steele's A Perfect Stranger ** for a read-off * they didn't know what they were reading, but The Mob loved it * Dr. Colbert challenged him to dueling banjo-guitar ** Dr. Colbert will play his guitar and Steve Martin will play his banjo * they ran out of time Epilogue * Dr. Colbert if you like what you saw, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell your enemies! Gallery File:7InchGanglyWrench2-4-2009.jpg File:StephenPointing.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments